Never Turn Back

Back bench, the reason I always chose her was to have a broad vision. Nerds were on first or second row, insignificant souls like me preferred back bench. Those who sat in front saw nothing but a black board and teacher; I knew a bunch of things about his classroom which no one else knows since I sat on my favorite spot “Back Bench”. The law of perception is very simple; depth of perception is directly proportional to distance from black board. I believed and followed this theory; in fact that was the only homage that I can do for my own theories.

She was sitting sideways and presented frequent glances and smile. She joined school today as a member of student exchange program.

I was under transformation and at most curious about physiological and psychological changes that I was undergoing. Smile, touch, company and scent of girls never felt the same as before. My sound was not hard enough though; there were thin layer of facial hair I admired on mirror every morning. This is my adolescence.

She was standing in principal’s office with other students when I first met her, they are from Uttar Pradesh. They spoke different language, had different culture and they came from very far state. I live in South and they live in North. Its destiny that brought us together and it’s my destiny to be loved and love a girl who traveled more than two thousand miles to meet me. What else than love she would have in her mind if she were to spend this much time looking at me with a sweetest smile ever? Love, Love at first sight I could not wait to hear this from her, Can this happen to me?

Gradually many boys noticed the silent strong currents for love flowing through that class room. To be truthful, I enjoyed those envied harsh looks of other boys. A boy with a notorious diffidence won heart of a girl on the very first day, first hour, first moment, and first sight. It’s hard to digest for the majority of heroes and other stars. My reputation was growing every second, I heard murmurs, and I felt like a celebrity chased by tabloid reporters.

“I hate this fame, I am simple man; only thing is a girl loves, she fell in love at first sight. She is beautiful, she does not speak my language, and she is different from other girls in my class. Guys we are all same, don’t be jealous may be she might not be your girl. Good luck next time boys”. I addressed all other boys who never proved that a girl fell in love with them at the first sight, in mind. No one heard anything, but I smiled as with a glittering success of instant love.

She will be in my school till next year; however she can opt to stay here for one more year. We will have two years together, two years …two years of loving… two years of being loved… Then she would leave…
After another two years I will join college in Delhi. We will miss each other for two years in between; the flame of this love will never dwindle. Delhi is not that far from UP, even she will be in Delhi. Delhi is much colder than here during winter. We would walk hand in had feeling the warmth of love. This love is what nation wants, cultural union, embodiment of national unity among diversity.

With each of her smile and glance there was a new dream born, feathered its wings and flew to sky. One after the other I dreamt all stages of our life and love.

I have to learn Hindi, my Hindi is poor. I know for sure she will learn my language, how can she neglect her lover’s language. In those special moments of love she may speak only her language, I can’t really run for dictionary or ask her for translation all the time. I am going to library tomorrow to get some Hindi book. Prem Chand I heard that he is a good writer. I will get one of his works. Unfortunately I know only one writer.
I know Hindi film celebrities, Hindi films that would be a good way to learn Hindi. Moreover her name is Rekha, most desirable woman in Hindi Films has same name. Yes, Hindi films, that’s what I should do..


Study hour passed very quickly, now its dinner time. We will be in same class again tomorrow at seven o clock. I sat there motionless; everyone is busy keeping their belongings to locker. There she comes, with her friend.

As she came closer and closer my heart trembled and made big pounding noise, this is painfully sweet. She stood near to me, she is prettier when closer. I could hear her panting, Come on, don’t be scared, and make this night unforgettable.
I love you, aren’t my eyes saying that, so please I can’t wait. I said to her without words or sound in my mind. Then once and for all she broke silence. “You know what; you look like my younger brother. I miss him so much; I can not meet him again in next six months. I can’t keep my eyes off you, I like you”

She wept and left, castles of dreams I built was shattered. She loves me for a different reason that I thought. She left after one year, during that year she saw her little brother in me. My lover Rekha died at my presence on the very first night I started loving her. However north Indian festivals brought her memories today is Diwali.